Photograph taken by Ruth Burton
Most of us grow up wanting a relationship with someone who truly loves and respects us. We imagine finding that special someone and being very happy. However, because of a lack of self esteem and the fear of being alone, we find ourselves juggling our desire for love on one hand with an uncommitted partner on the other.
You’re probably familiar with the routine. You want to break off a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat you well, but find yourself taking them back. Each time you convince yourself that it’s all going to be okay as you hear your partner’s promises and you’re sleeping in their arms. You tell yourself you should have been stronger; you should have held off a little bit longer. But there you are back in the game — the game of hope…or is it fear? Regardless of the answer, the fact remains the relationship is unhealthy. So, what can you do when you want to let go of a relationship that isn’t working and attract someone who is right for you?
Visualize and stay focused on the kind of relationship you want. To facilitate change, it is important that you understand that you are the one attracting this person into your life. He or she could not be with you if the both of you were not vibrating at or near the same level of energy. This is not a bad thing. It is merely an indication of what you are currently focused on and how you are using your ability to create. That being said, you can begin changing your focus and start visualizing the kind of relationship you really want. Spend at least 10-15 minutes each day imagining your ideal relationship. It may sound simplistic, but it is very powerful.
Let go of your ‘need’ for anyone. Needing someone equals fear — fear that you’re not good enough or that you can’t have what you want. This, by default, equals a focus towards lack. Then, with the Law of Attraction, as you focus on lack, you draw more lack. It is the way the Law works. However, let go of your need, focus on what’s coming, and you will find that not only will you attract a wonderful partner, but your confidence will greatly improve. In letting go of need, you discover the freedom and power in being with someone because you want to versus because you believe you need to. For an even greater understanding of what’s behind your fears, working with someone else can help facilitate this process.
Stop beating up on yourself. Beating up on yourself only reinforces your feelings of not being good enough or deserving. You are living life. There is no need to judge it. Judging yourself or being hard on yourself is living in the past, even if it was just yesterday or an hour ago. Let go of the past and instead, turn your thoughts towards what you want. Be gentle with yourself, just the way you would want a loving partner to be with you.
Get involved with activities that feel good to you. Take a fun class, start a new hobby, get reacquainted with or make new friends, read and/or watch good feeling movies, or join a fun group. Whatever you do, make it something you enjoy. This is a great way to channel your time, thoughts, and energy, and it allows the Law of Attraction to work for you. People in healthy relationships should have activities and friends both together and apart from one another.
Continue to work on yourself. Having a wonderful relationship is an ongoing process of learning about yourself. The more you learn to love and respect yourself, the better your relationships will be because relationships always mirror the way you feel about yourself. Periodically, try looking for a new book or CD. There are numerous books and CD’s on self-improvement that can really teach and inspire you. Begin to make it a habit to work towards inner growth and happiness.
Holding on to one specific person for fear of being alone is like telling the Universe that of the millions of the people in this world, you don’t believe there is anyone out there who can treat you better than your current partner. This just isn’t so. With the Law of Attraction, as you do this work, you’ll begin to understand that you can have a wonderful partner. If your current partner is meant to be with you, your relationship will change towards the better. If not, then the right partner will show up. Either way, you must trust and be willing to let go of what isn’t working and start making room for the love you really desire.
